


Actions Speak Louder

by Nightlightgoth



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion, Drunken Confessions, Emotionally Repressed, Eventual Fluff, Future Fic, Gay, Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-10-23 02:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17674709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightlightgoth/pseuds/Nightlightgoth
Summary: A few years after Yuri Plisetsky's Senior debut, not much has changed. He's still a star skater, he's still short-tempered, and he runs with the same crowd. Things are pretty much the same. That is, until Otabek Altin shares something with him. Yuri doesn't know how to respond, and it may change their friendship forever.





	1. Love Will Kill You

Not a lot and yet so much had changed in the short years that had passed since Yuri Plisetsky's Senior debut on the ice. Now, at 20, he was earning the recognition and praise that he spent so much of his time working for. The days of him being compared to Victor Nikiforov were far from over, but he was being seen as Russia's idol. This, of course, still irritated him. He wasn't interested in the fangirls. Even with age, he never gained any sort of desire to be the heartthrob everyone saw him as. He wanted the focus and recognition to be on his talent. Still, he did the interviews and shows and learned to play the part. Victor had told him, after that first gold, that he would have to if he wanted the crowds to keep loving him.

"Keep them entertained!" he'd said. "Keep surprising them! Being a star on the ice means being a star everywhere."

Yuri hated that he was right. Luckily, his attitude and short temper just gave him the bad-boy image that had gotten him this far. That gold wasn't the last. Fans ate up the show he put on, and being a fan favorite never hurt scores with the judges. Yuri used his natural behaviors to his advantage.

Beyond his rise to fame, there were few changes to Yuri's life. Victor and Yuri Katsuki had retired, but were still very active in the competitive world. They were in attendance during most of the major events of the season, and were often found mentoring younger skaters. Yuri would never openly admit it, but he enjoyed their presence. Since the two had retired and were no longer competition for Yuri, he had grown fond of them. He would fight tooth and nail to deny that they were friends, but it was true nonetheless.

He had learned a lot from those two, especially off the ice. While he was still a rough, ill-tempered man, he had softened enough to form deep bonds with some of his fellow skaters. Besides Yuri and Victor, he had found himself in the company of many of the skaters from his first Senior season. Most notably was Otabek Altin.

When Yuri and Otabek first became close, Yuri considered him one of his only friends. Now that his circle had grown, he considered Otabek one of his best friends. They were close enough, in fact, that since the day Otabek assisted with Yuri's exhibition skate, they were almost inseparable. To the shock of most of their circle, the two preferred to spend time together than alone. Even in the off-season, the two would visit often and, when unable to meet face-to-face, spent much of their time talking.

Yuri was reflecting on all of this when he was pulled from his thoughts.

"Hey, Yurio!"

Why had that stupid nickname stuck?

Yuri shook his head as if to clear it and looked up to see Phitchit jogging over. Yuri pulled the headphones from his ears and raised an eyebrow.

Phitchit gave Yuri a wide grin and a small wave before saying, "We're all going to dinner tonight! Do you want to come?"

Yuri stared at the other man for a moment, weighing his options. On the one hand, he didn't really want to sit in the hotel eating whatever takeout delivered late again. On the other hand --

"Otabek already said he's coming!"

Damn it.

"Tsk. Fine." Yuri looked down at his phone and opened his conversation with Otabek, wondering why he hadn't mentioned it. "Give me the details later. It's almost time to warm up."

Later, Phichit sat with his hands up, laughing as he said, "I knew neither of you would come if one of you didn't already agree! I'm sorry Yurio!"

Yuri shook his head and took a swig of his drink. No wonder Otabek hadn't mentioned it earlier; Phichit hadn't mentioned it to him until he got Yuri to say he would go. Still, Otabek had said he would be here and was nowhere to be found.

The disappointment left a bitter taste in Yuri's mouth.

Even without his dear friend there, Yuri loosened up and began to enjoy the night. The food was delicious, the drinks were flowing, plenty of pictures and videos were posted, and Yuri admitted he was having fun with the others. He was smiling and even allowed himself a laugh or two. Despite the merriment, he kept glancing at the door, hoping to see those stoic dark eyes. It just wasn't as fun without Otabek.

Surprisingly, JJ was the first to notice Yuri's detachment. He asked if everything was alright, but Yuri just scoffed. The question was enough to get everyone's attention, though. The group had all eyes on Yuri, waiting to see what made JJ ask. There was quiet for a moment. The cacophony of the table was replaced with the chatter and clinking silverware from the rest of the restaurant. Yuri looked up from his phone to see the concerned faces of his circle. He glanced between them all and felt something in his throat. He choked it down.

"I'm fine, you idiots!" he snapped. Victor flinched, but his bubbly demeanor rushed back. He gave Yuri a smile.

"Who's up for some dancing? I've heard about a new club a few blocks away we could go to."

Everyone else's enthusiasm returned at that. Victor was always contagious. Yuri sighed, relieved that the attention was off of him, and mentally thanked Victor.

Most of the group walked to the club together. A few skaters, still underage, decided to go shopping and one or two headed back to their hotels. Yuri texted Otabek a quick message, letting him know that if he planned on showing up that they were going to the club. After that he pocketed his phone and tried to quell his frustration. As they neared the club, the rumble of the bass started to drive them. The excitement that the music ignited in the group was almost palpable as their pace picked up. Once they got inside, Yuri beamed. The dark room seemed to sway with the crowd. It felt more like a concert than a club with its myriad of laser lights and the fog rolling across the floor.

The group found a table to drink at and a few of them headed to the dancefloor. Yuri sat down at one end of the table. Someone ordered a round of drinks and Yuri let his mind drift, getting lost in the music. His attention was in and out, shifting from the music to his friends and back again. Someone was in the middle of a story that Yuri wasn't particularly paying attention to when they were cut off.

"Look who's finally here!" Phichit shouted over the music.

Yuri looked up to see Otabek approaching the table. He was expressionless as he waved to them. Once his eyes met Yuri's, he smiled. Yuri's chest felt lighter. The bass, pounding through the floor, made his heart feel like it rumbled as he greeted his friend. Otabek sat beside him and apologized for being so late. He explained that his parents had called, and then some old friends, and he lost track of time while they caught up.

Yuri was acutely aware of the man beside him. He chalked it up to his absence for the majority of the night. He seemed to notice Otabek more, somehow, in the dark of the club. He watched him as he talked, the way the light danced over his dark hair. His eyes, so deep and dark, reflecting the room around them. He listened to the way his voice sounded as he tried to be heard over the music. He felt his leg brush his.

The sensation caught Yuri off guard. Despite how close they were, the two didn't touch terribly often. But the table was small and their chairs were close together, so it was bound to happen. A strange wooziness began to swell in Yuri's head. It had to be the drinks. He'd probably had enough for the night. He found himself focusing on this rather than the conversation, his head jumping back to it every time Otabek brushed him and made his skin tingle.

The night carried on. Otabek ordered a few more drinks. The group bounced between the table and the dancefloor. At some point, as Yuri moved to the song blasting from the speakers, Otabek's body collided with his. He turned to face him and the drink in his hand. Otabek apologized and gave Yuri a bashful smile. Yuri furrowed his brow. He had seen Otabek drunk before, but never this drunk.

"Come on. You need to get home." Yuri slid an arm around Otabek's waist. Otabek protested, but Yuri dragged him off the dancefloor and to the table where their friends sat. Otabek leaned against the wall, watching Yuri as he told everyone they were leaving. Yuri gave Otabek a rather annoyed look. Something flashed across Otabek's face. Was he hurt by that? No, it must have been the lights.

Yuri grabbed Otabek by the arm and started pulling him away. Otabek clung to him, stumbling at his side. As they stepped away, Yuri heard a question that reddened his face: Are they a couple now?

He wasn't sure who asked it, but he turned on his heel and shouted that whoever had was an idiot. There was a second of shock at the table. Yuri looked back at Otabek, who was watching in confusion. He turned again to the table to see Victor and Yuri share a look. He didn't know why the question bothered him so much, but it did, and now those two giving each other a look... He started towards the exit with Otabek again.

"And don't drink too much again, Katsudon!" he shouted over his shoulder. Hearing the complete embarrassment coming from Yuri eased his anger.

The air outside the club was cool. The quiet washed over Yuri. He took a deep breath and tried to collect himself. Otabek nudged him with his shoulder.

"What was that about?" he asked. He seemed less off-kilter now than he did inside the club.

Yuri shook his head. "They're idiots."

"Then why are you so angry?" Otabek's voice was gentle. He nodded towards the direction of their hotel and put his hands in his pockets as he started walking.

"I'm always angry."

"Not this kind of angry."

Yuri let out a sound somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle. He kept step with Otabek, occasionally letting his eyes wander to him. There was something different about the way he looked in the night. The streetlights cast shadows over his face. Their glow made his face softer.

"One of them asked if we're a couple," Yuri said. Otabek was quiet. Yuri chuckled, now. "Idiots."

After a few long, silent minutes, Otabek stopped. Yuri turned back to him.

Otabek's eyes were serious, and he held himself in the same way that he did just before hearing the final results of his program. He kept himself tall, confident. He was sure of himself. To someone that knew him as well as Yuri did, though, there were signs of his nerves. He clenched his jaw. His gaze fell.

What did Otabek have to be nervous about? Yuri wondered.

The street around them was still. It was late. The air added a hint of red to Otabek's cheeks. Another time that might have amused Yuri. Someone that spent so much time in freezing buildings, that made a living doing so, affected by the cold. Another time Yuri may have teased him over it. But Otabek was holding something back. There was something that needed to be said.

Otabek met Yuri's eyes and took a step closer to him. He could smell the alcohol on his breath when he finally spoke.

"Would it be that bad if we were?"

The silence of the empty street was replaced with the sound of Yuri's heart pounding, loud enough for him to hear. That wooziness had returned. He tripped over himself as he tried to take a step back.

Before he could fall, Otabek had his arms around him. He pulled him back to his feet. Rather than let him go after righting him, Otabek pulled him closer. Without thinking, Yuri returned the embrace. He pressed his forehead to Otabek's shoulder. Otabek let out a sigh, his breath warm on Yuri's skin.

Yuri pulled away hard. Otabek's words had sunk in. That look crossed Otabek's face like it had in the club. His hands were still on Yuri's arms.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Yuri asked. His tone was harsher than he intended it to be. His hair fell into his eyes. Otabek moved to push it away but Yuri pulled back, stepping out of his reach.

Otabek looked past Yuri. The strength in his posture was gone. His shoulders had dropped and his jaw was tight.

"It means..." Otabek took an unsteady breath and looked at Yuri again. He put his hands back in his pockets and shook his head. He took a few steps forward. Before he could move past Yuri, Yuri grabbed his arm.

"It means what?" Yuri stared into Otabek's eyes. His palms were damp. He wasn't sure what he expected Otabek to say. He wasn't sure what he wanted him to say, but a particular set of words crossed his mind. He didn't know why they did. It didn't make sense to him that they did.

Otabek stared back. He barely parted his lips. Yuri's chest tightened. He watched him try to make a decision, build some resolve, something. A sort of resignation dimmed his eyes.

Just loud enough for Yuri to hear, Otabek said, "It means I love you."

Yuri took a breath through his teeth and a step away. "You're drunk."

Otabek's face dropped. He didn't argue or try to convince Yuri. He just nodded and started walking. Yuri watched him. He seemed smaller. His arms were close to his body, and his shoulders were low. Without stopping, Otabek asked if Yuri wasn't walking him home now.

Yuri hesitated, but jogged over and took up the space beside Otabek again. Neither spoke. The walk back to their hotel seemed longer than it should have. The two were rooming together, and the thought suddenly made Yuri anxious. He decided that he could just try to sleep when they got back, and hope Otabek was drunk enough that he wouldn't remember this in the morning. He knew he was hoping against hope. Otabek hadn't been as drunk as Yuri thought when they left.

Otabek stood on the opposite side of the elevator up to their room. He held himself differently when they got to the hotel, Yuri noticed. He held his shoulders back and his head high. He was carrying himself with his usual confidence. When the doors opened on their floor, Yuri realized it was an act. He followed behind Otabek to their room. He kept himself hunched up, feeling suddenly that he wanted to disappear.

When Yuri reached the door to their room, he noticed Otabek had kept walking. 

"Otabek, you passed our room."

"I know."

Yuri felt a knot in his stomach.

"You have a key, right?" Otabek asked. Yuri fumbled through his pockets and realized he didn't. Otabek almost stomped back and unlocked the door, turning away again as soon as he did. Something about that pissed Yuri off. "Don't forget it next time."

"Hey, where are you going?" He said it almost accusingly. Despite how uncomfortable it would feel sharing a room at that moment, Yuri would rather deal with that than the empty feeling that was growing inside him with each step Otabek took away from him.

"To talk to someone. Go to bed, Yuri."

Yuri turned and slammed the door shut. He reached to lock the deadbolt. His hand hovered over it. He made a fist and hit the wood beside the lock.

"Stupid damn drunk idiot," Yuri mumbled to himself. He sat on the edge of his bed with his hands balled in the pockets of his jacket and the hood over his head. He wanted to be angry at someone. He wanted to be angry with whoever asked that damn question at the club. He wanted to be angry at the bartender for giving Otabek another drink. He wanted to be angry at whoever was getting Otabek's presence right now. He wanted to be angry at Otabek for... for what?

Why did he get so upset by Otabek's confession? Why was he angry over it?

Why was he crying?

Yuri wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand. He decided he needed sleep. It was late. He looked at the clock on the nightstand between the beds. Very late. He got himself to bed and stared at the empty one across from him until he fell asleep.


	2. If You Leave

In the two weeks since Otabek's drunken confession, Yuri had seen him maybe three times. He had tried to text him once or twice, but Otabek either ignored the messages or gave short responses. Yuri was growing more and more frustrated. His inability to hide this was becoming a problem, too. At first, his friends began asking questions. It was odd for the pair to spend so much time apart. Had they fought? Had something bad happened?

Yuri gave no answers. He was colder to everyone than usual. His friends, though, were stubborn. They weren't about to let him sulk like this for long. At the start of the third week since that night, Victor invited the group out again. Or, at least, those in their group that we were in the same city. Reluctantly, Yuri met them all at some cheap restaurant. The table was full despite most of the group being elsewhere in the world.

It was a setup.

Yuri realized this when he found that the only empty seat was beside Otabek. Perhaps they neglected to tell him Yuri was coming. They certainly hadn't said Otabek would be there. He should have expected him, though. Only a handful of times did the group get together and have anyone missing. Besides that, everyone knew the two were close. Of course they would leave him a spot beside Otabek.

But how would he respond to Yuri beside him?

Rather than find out, Yuri put a hand on the back of JJ's chair and leaned it back. JJ let out a startled yelp and reached for Isabella beside him. On his other side, Victor snapped out a hand to grab the seat's armrest.

"Get up," Yuri said. The others turned to Yuri. JJ tilted his head to look at the younger man.

"Yurio! You scared me!" JJ laughed. Isabella glared at Yuri despite JJ's reaction being so light. Of course she knew he was being serious when JJ didn't.

"Are you deaf? I said get up!"

Victor kept his hand on the chair and tried to speak but JJ cut him off.

"Hey, hey! I'm sitting with my wife! There's an open seat over there!" JJ's tone was still light, but the irritation growing in his voice was evident. He pushed forward, trying to get his seat back on the ground, but Yuri held tight.

"Then you go sit there." Yuri looked down over JJ, his hair falling around their faces. "Get. Up."

The two were locked in a staredown. JJ refused to budge and Yuri wouldn't let go. Before Yuri could demand that JJ get up again, Otabek piped up. The sound of his voice made Yuri release his grip, jolting JJ forward as the chair's front feet met the linoleum with a bang.

"You're making a scene," Otabek said. He shot Yuri a warning glance and turned his attention back to his phone.

Making a scene... Yuri seemed to be doing that more than usual lately. With a huff, he walked to the other side of the table and sat beside Otabek. After a moment of stunned, confused murmurs among their friends, things steadied. Yuri tried to relax and enjoy the company, but he couldn't shake how stiff his friend was beside him.

Partway through the meal, Yuri's phone buzzed. He looked down to see a text from the other Yuri.

"What is going on with you two???"

Yuri scowled and replied, "None of your fucking business pig."

"You can't keep everything to yourself Yurio!!"

Yuri pocketed his phone and mumbled "Watch me."

The night wound down quickly for once. A pang of guilt hit Yuri; he knew it was his fault for making things tense. Why didn't he get his temper under control?

But Yuri's texts lingered with him. He'd kept it to himself for two weeks. He stopped outside the restaurant as everyone trickled past. His former rival was right. He couldn't hold onto it the way he was, like he would have when he was younger. He had to talk about it before he burst. He sat on a rail at the edge of the sidewalk and waited for those awful lovebirds to come out.

It was still light out and the air held the day's warmth. An early dinner usually ran for hours with his friends, none of them leaving until the sky was dark and cool, but he had messed that up. It wasn't hot, but it was warm enough that Yuri was uncomfortable with his hair falling over his shoulders. He pulled off his backpack to look for a rubber band. He balanced it in his lap, shuffling through it, and almost not noticing when someone stood in front of him. He looked up.

"Beka!" he said, momentarily forgetting the tension as his face lit up. As soon as the sound came out of his mouth, his head caught up. He dropped his eyes and felt the blush blooming in his cheeks.

"Here," Otabek said. Yuri looked up again. Otabek held out his hand, a rubber band between his fingers. Even now it astounded Yuri how well the other man knew him. He mumbled a "Thanks" as he took it, putting his pack over his shoulders again to pull back his hair. The ponytail fell down the top of his back, but his bangs stayed put to frame his face.

Yuri opened his mouth a moment too late. Otabek was already speaking.

"Was what I said so wrong that you can't even sit beside me?" Otabek asked.

Yuri scoffed and tucked his bangs behind his ear. "You haven't even talked to me."

After a pause to consider this, Otabek sighed and said, "Can you blame me for wanting space?"

"You could have at least said so, asshole! And how would I know you wanted me to sit there if you wanted space?"

Otabek frowned. Yuri looked him over in the quiet that followed. He looked rougher than he remembered him looking two weeks ago. His hair seemed more disheveled, and his eyes seemed tired. Yuri was taller than Otabek by a fair margin and the rail he sat on put his gaze even higher, but even considering that, the way Otabek stood made him seem somehow smaller. Yuri's anger was bubbling up again. Why hadn't Otabek been taking care of himself? Who was he to confuse Yuri like this?

He wanted to ask, but couldn't find the words to. Or, maybe, he realized, he couldn't find the nerve. As suddenly as it swelled, his anger redirected. At first it was to himself. Yuri kicked himself for being unable to say the things he wanted to. Since he was younger, his actions had always made his thoughts and feelings clearer than what he could say. It was the best way for him to communicate. So, in times like these when he couldn't do something to express himself, he hated himself. He hated that he couldn't just speak, that he couldn't just talk about things. That was why he had been waiting for Yuri and Victor, after all: he wanted to try.

But then his anger was redirected again, this time to the man that shoved Otabek as he walked past them. He said something about taking up the sidewalk, but Yuri only half-heard. The shove had caught Otabek off guard and he lost his balance; Yuri's attention jumped to his friend falling towards him.

Reflexively, Yuri reached out and wrapped an arm around Otabek to steady him. In doing so, he pulled him close.

Otabek's hands wrapped around the bar of the railing on either side of his friend, one next to the hand Yuri had on the rail to keep his balance. They sat like that a moment longer than necessary, Yuri holding Otabek to his chest. When he realized this, Yuri pulled back but left his arm loosely over Otabek's shoulders. Otabek shifted, looking up at him. There was still little space between them. Otabek reached up and pushed the hair away from Yuri's face. His fingers hovered along his jaw, settling on the side of his face.

He told himself that it was the anger he was feeling a second before, but Yuri's heart was pounding in his chest. Something deep in his stomach tightened. The scene around him changed. In the golden light, there was quiet. The droning of conversation at the umbrella-shaded tables nearby fell away. There were no footsteps tapping past them on the cobblestone.

Yuri's hand pressed into the firm muscle of Otabek's back, not pulling him closer, just enough to feel the way the man moved against him. A flash of thought hit Yuri: the thin fabric of Otabek's tshirt was still too much space. It didn't occur to him to dwell on that, to question it, to understand why the thought was there. The thought was overtaken by the moment Yuri noticed his lips had parted and his breath was caught in his throat.

Before instinct could push him to act, to shove down all his questions and move, Otabek stepped away.

He buried his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat, pulling part of Yuri back into the moment.

Yuri barely processed that Otabek apologized and said he would text him later as he walked away. He said something in response, but his own voice felt distant. His hand, at some point and of its own volition, had drifted to touch the same part of his cheek Otabek had. Yuri didn't watch as Otabek disappeared around a corner. He didn't think to call out and chase him. Later, he wished he had.

He dropped his hand from his cheek to his chest, as if feeling his heart from the outside would confirm how fast it was beating. His excuses were absent. He didn't tell himself it was anger.

Yuri was still sitting there, his hand on his chest, his mouth open and eyes wide, when Victor and Yuri finally stepped outside. He had almost forgotten he was waiting for them. Just a few minutes had felt like hours.

Victor noticed him first and nudged his partner, pointing to the blonde.

They were over in an instant, standing in front of Yuri.

"Are you okay? Does your chest hurt? Do we need to call someone?" Victor asked. He had a hand on Yuri's shoulder and was looking at him earnestly.

That was enough to pull the rest of him back to reality. Yuri pushed Victor's hand away with a scoff and hopped off the railing.

"I'm fine, idiot," he said. He turned to Yuri. "I was waiting for you."

The older Yuri held his hands up and gave him a smile, almost taking a step back as he said, "I-it's none of my business! I'm sorry I asked!"

Yuri rolled his eyes and put his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Stop that. I just need to talk to you, Katsudon."

"Huh?" Yuri dropped his hands to his sides. "About what?"

"About what's going on with Beka! Fuck, you're stupid."

"Oh! Do you want to come over to our hotel?"

Yuri glanced between him and Victor and made a sound of disgust. "Hell no. You'll barely keep your hands off each other. I need to think first, anyways."

"How about lunch tomorrow? We can come to --"

Yuri cut him off. "Just you. He can't keep his mouth shut."

"I'm not that bad," Victor whined. The pair of Yuris gave him a look.

"Okay, I'll meet you tomorrow, then. You can text me if you need me, Yurio!" Yuri said. He gave him a smile, then took Victor's hand and they headed away.

Yuri could hear Victor whining about how he can keep secrets until they were out of earshot. He smiled a little. The two of them were irritating to no end, but their happiness when they were together was contagious.

When he got back to his hotel room, Yuri fell onto the bed and turned on the TV. It was just meant to be background noise while he relaxed, but he got pulled in. It was some movie Victor used to rave about but Yuri had never been interested in watching. He wasn't into those cheesy romances like Victor. Yet, there he was. At the end of it, he was clinging to a pillow in his lap and his eyes were glued to the screen. He scoffed at the big kiss scene, saying to himself that it was obvious they would be together so why was the kiss a big deal and nothing in real life happened that way. At the very least, the song playing was good.

He turned off the TV and pulled out his phone. To his surprise, he had a message from Otabek.

"Saw it on my way back." Attached was a picture of a fat cat. Yuri smiled and saved it. He pulled up his music app and downloaded the song from the big kiss scene.


	3. The Right Thing to Say

Yuri pushed open the door to the small café. The bell overhead jingled. Someone behind the counter welcomed him and he nodded in response. The place wasn't necessarily packed, but there were enough people. Yuri glanced over the tables before seeing a familiar face. He let out a small sigh of relief. He walked over and sat down rather unceremoniously. The other man looked up.  
  
"Oh, there you are!" he said. He gave Yuri a wide smile.  
  
"Yo."  
  
"So, what's going on?"  
  
Yuri snorted. "Right to the point, huh? Got somewhere important to be?"  
  
"Oh! N-no! I just thought you would want to skip the small talk!" Yuri had his hands up again, his cheeks a pale pink.  
  
"It's almost too easy to mess with you, Pig."  
  
The older man frowned but then shook his head and smiled again. "So, what's going on?"  
  
Yuri put his head on the table. He stretched his arms out across it and started groping for something. When he finally found it, he grabbed it and sat back up in a flash. He took the straw in his mouth and sipped, holding the other's gaze as he did. It was sweeter than he expected, and the bitterness of the coffee was only barely noticeable. It was far from the way he took his. He held the cup up and looked it over as if the glass would reveal its contents with a glance.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"It's a local specialty! Good, isn't it? If you wanted to try it, you just had to ask, though..."  
  
Yuri's eyes darted away as he took another sip. His friend sighed, but the sound was light, amused. He offered to buy Yuri one. A few minutes later, he put a glass in front of Yuri and sat back down.  
  
"Will you tell me what's going on, now?"  
  
Yuri took the straw out of his mouth and ran a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath in his native tongue.  
  
"How do you know when you're in love?"  
  
"Huh...? In love...? Is that what this is about?"  
  
"Will you answer the question?"  
  
The other man gave Yuri a sympathetic smile. He made a noise of contemplation and his gaze drifted elsewhere. He ran his fingers over the gold band he wore and Yuri wondered how aware he was that he touched it every time he was thinking about Victor.  
  
"Hmm... I think it's different for everyone. It's probably different depending on your relationship to begin with, too..." He trailed off, and Yuri could tell he was trying to figure out what to say. Yuri watched him in silence. After a moment, he continued, finally bringing his eyes back to Yuri. "It's like being on the ice. Two people can skate the same program, but they won't skate it the same way.  
  
"How did you know you were in love with Victor?" In the years they'd known each other, Yuri had never asked either one. Thinking about it, he hadn't really done anything to look at anyone on a deeper level besides Otabek in a long time. Somewhere inside him, he knew that he had been neglecting his relationships for too long. He spent too much time running from his feelings toward everyone. He supposed his friends knew this. How much they must have cared, then, if they stayed and loved him despite that.  
  
"You know, at first I didn't know."  
  
Yuri's eyes widened. Everyone else could see it from the start. How had he not known?  
  
"It seems obvious now, doesn't it? I loved Victor long before I knew it. At first, he was someone I admired from a distance. Then, when he became my coach, I realized I wanted more. I wanted a bond with him past that. I thought I just wanted to be friends, and be close that way. Victor kissed me, and I was so shocked I couldn't even think about it. Then, Makka got sick. Do you remember that? Victor went back to Japan and it was the first time we were really apart since he came to the springs. It was around then that I was getting confused, I think. I wasn't satisfied just being friends. Being around him felt more natural than being apart. The day he came back, I met him at the airport, and I understood.  
  
"I never wanted his eyes off me. I wanted to be selfish and keep him to myself. I didn't want him to leave me again. That's how I knew."  
  
Yuri watched his friend as he spoke. His eyes were bright and there was a subtle blush in his cheeks.  
  
"Yurio, are you in love with Otabek?"  
  
Yuri was caught off guard. His first instinct was to be angry, to avoid his feelings and lash out instead. He bit his tongue and took a deep breath. No, he needed to face what he felt for once. He dropped his eyes and said, "I don't know. I'm so confused."  
  
Yuri felt a hand on his arm and looked up. A kind smile prompted him, without saying it, to continue.  
  
"I've never really thought of anyone that way. It just never seemed important, so I just didn't care. I don't know what love feels like for me. I know how it feels to love my family, or my favorite songs, or a good meal, but I don't know how it feels to be in love." Yuri shifted in his seat. When was the last time he spoke so openly about himself?  
  
"Why are you confused about Otabek, then? What's different with him?" the older Yuri asked.  
  
"I don't know! Damn. If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you for help. Idiot."  
  
A laugh from the other side of the table made Yuri clench his jaw.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know it's not funny. I've just never seen you so flustered, Yurio."  
  
Yuri shot him an annoyed look and stood up. The room felt too small. He felt caged in. "I finished my drink. Let's go for a walk."  
  
The pair made their way down the street. The air was lighter outside. Even with all the noise the city made, it was quieter than the restaurant somehow. Yuri felt his body relax. It was easier to think now. As they walked, Yuri's companion asked him about Otabek. It was a simple question for Yuri, at this point.  
  
"What's he like when he's away from everyone else?"  
  
Yuri thought it could be answered briefly, but the more he said about Otabek, the more he realized he had to say. Every thought led to another. He couldn't explain who Otabek was so easily, after all. He couldn't explain his soft side without talking about the time Otabek helped him catch a stray cat so they could bring it to a shelter. He couldn't talk about his sense of humor unless he mentioned all the jokes the two shared. He found himself rambling, but neither one of them seemed bothered by it. Thinking about who his best friend really was made him feel lighter, in a way.  
  
He had years of stories to share. There was so much to say about the man, how could he not share them? The longer they walked, the better his mood got. Just talking about Otabek made him feel closer, and feeling close to him just felt good.  
  
"...and after the movie, we went to this really cool store that had all this foreign stuff and that's where I got the charm on my phone. Otabek bought it for me and I didn't even know until we left."  
  
"Yurio, I think this is the most I've ever heard you talk," Yuri said through a laugh. "You've been talking about Otabek since we left the restaurant."  
  
Yuri tensed up. "Well, he's my best friend, and you asked about him."  
  
"We might have more in common than we thought."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, Katsudon?"  
  
"Oh! It's just because you -- hey, this is the restaurant we were at yesterday! I guess we walked pretty far."  
  
Yuri looked over. The part of him that wanted to demand that sentence be finished was silenced. He stopped and put his hand on the rail beside him. He had gotten so caught up in talking about Otabek that he didn't even realize where they were. The rail was cool under his palm. The memory of the night before bubbled up and Yuri found his hand on his cheek again. He dropped it the moment his friend spoke.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked.  
  
Yuri leaned against the rail and turned to the other man.  
  
"Otabek confessed to me."  
  
"Oh! When? What did you say?"  
  
Yuri turned, looking down the street they had just come from. A ghost of Otabek stepped away. His chest tightened.  
  
"Not the right thing," he said.  
  
"Then tell him the right thing."  
  
His friend was smiling up at him. When they met, Yuri would never have imagined he would one day go to this man for help with anything, let alone this. He would have laughed in your face if you had told him that later on, he would soften a bit and open up because of the rival he hated so desperately. A younger version of himself would call Yuri an idiot over it. Even now, he still held onto shreds of that annoyance towards him, but he valued his friendship. Yuri returned the smile and gave a nod.  
  
"Thanks, Katsudon."  
  
"No problem, Yurio! Now go! Tell him the right thing."  
  
Yuri started to walk away. He put his hand into his pocket to grab his phone, but he stopped. He hadn't just figured out his feelings for Otabek. He realized that he had a lot to work on as a person because of it. One of those things was being a better friend to those that went out of their way for him. Yuri turned and hurried back. He put a hand on his friend's shoulder and spun him around so they faced each other. Yuri hesitated a moment, but reminded himself that his friend would appreciate the gesture, even if he himself didn't like it much. He wrapped the other man in his arms and pulled him close, squeezing him in a bear hug.  
  
A little noise of surprise came from the person against him, but the embrace was returned. When Yuri pulled back, his face was burning red.  
  
"Don't fucking tell anyone I did that!" he snapped.  
  
"I won't, I won't! I promise!"  
  
"I mean it!"  
  
Yuri laughed as he said, "I promise, really! Go!"  
  
Yuri texted Otabek as he walked towards their hotel, taking the same route he had the night before. It was a simple text saying they needed to talk. Still, Yuri's heart was racing. Walking wasn't fast enough. He needed to be there now. He broke into a sprint.  
  
When he got back to their room, Otabek wasn't there. He was disappointed, of course, but knew he would be there eventually. His nerves wouldn't let him stay still. He tidied the room, freshened himself up, and then looked for more things he could do. He was in the middle of trying to distract himself with a deck of cards when he heard the door open. He jumped, and had to remind himself to relax.  
  
Otabek stepped inside and walked over to the table Yuri was sitting at. He sat across from him without a word. There was something in his eyes that Yuri didn't like. It made his chest ache. Otabek was still hurting.  
  
Yuri broke the silence first. "Do you remember when you taught me to play poker?"  
  
Otabek chuckled, a smile teasing on his lips. "Yeah. You were horrible at it."  
  
"It was fun, anyways. I always have fun with you."  
  
Otabek, until then, hadn't looked at Yuri. Those words made his eyes snap up. He said nothing, but didn't take his gaze away from Yuri.  
  
"I don't like this," Yuri continued. "I don't like the distance and being away from you. It fucking sucks."  
  
Otabek nodded. "I'm sorry, Yuri. I don't like it either."  
  
"Beka, about that night... I didn't say the right thing."  
  
"It's okay, Yuri. I shouldn't have dropped it on you that way. We can just forget it. I can't blame you for being shocked."  
  
"No, Beka, that's not --"  
  
"I don't want to ruin our friendship."  
  
"Beka --"  
  
"We can just go back to the way we were."  
  
"Otabek!"  
  
Otabek stopped. Yuri could hear his heart pounding, a war drum in his chest. He stood and stepped in front of Otabek. Otabek's brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a gasp. Yuri leaned over him, a hand on either of his cheeks, his face close enough to Otabek's that he could feel his breath on his skin.  
  
"Beka, can I say the right thing?"  
  
Otabek searched Yuri's face for an explanation. Hope swelled in him. He nodded.  
  
Yuri didn't hesitate this time. He pressed his lips to Otabek's. The kiss sent electricity through his body, and the feel of Otabek sighing as he kissed him back made him shiver. Otabek grabbed Yuri's shirt in his fists, pulling him closer. When they broke away, Otabek's face was beaming. He gave Yuri a soft smile.  
  
"So was that the right thing?" Otabek asked.  
  
Yuri kissed him again, much softer and deeper.  
  
"It was."  



End file.
